In-Between, part deux.

Often, the very things that echo in our preaching and teaching, are the ideas and movements that stir within our own lives.  During this first week of Advent, I’ve been reflecting on Psalm 63 and the in-between.  The Psalmist is in an in-between– he thirsts and yet God quenches his thirst.  The psalmist feels fear and yet places his trust in the Lord.

Since August, I’ve been serving at University Church (UPC) and with Presbyterian Campus Ministry (PCM) as the Campus Ministry Fellow.  I’ve hard the great opportunity of meeting terrific students and working alongside them as they think through small groups and Thursday night programs.  I’ve also had quite a bit of conversations about racial reconciliation and outreach.  The students have been excited to see and hear stories of reconciliation and hope happening all over town.

(a mural of programs is displayed on the walls, here’s a snapshot of what Gina created for the program I led).

Not only have I had the opportunity to serve and to give, but I have been blessed in that the students have given me far more than I could have asked.  They have shared moments of joy and we have rejoiced together.  Times of sadness and we have mourned together.  Tears from chopping onions in preparation for Thursday night programs, and yes, we laughed and cried together about it.  We have engaged in the rhythms of life together, and it has filled me with joy.

I’m currently in an in-between.  At the end of this calendar year, I’ll be transitioning out of my position with PCM into working more closely with Heather Ferguson, who oversees Christian Education at UPC.  I’ll have opportunities to serve in worship at University Church but also to lead a sunday school class, a small group, and maybe even a pub group.  This is a great opportunity to be stretched in different ways and learn new ways of doing Christian Education and discipleship in the church.

While I make this transition with sadness, I am also full of joy and hope.  The experiences I have had and will have will enrich my life and my ministry for years to come.

Grateful to the March 5th Group and University Church for this chance to learn and explore creative ways for doing ministry.

Grace and Peace to you.

I… Tri. @ the Ramblin’ Rose

“When you race, leave it all out on the field.” -Carla Fulton, last week

I spent a lot of time contemplating whether I had done the right thing by signing up for the Ramblin’ Rose Sprint Triathlon in Chapel Hill (Meadowmont).  Sometimes, when I get around Amey, I get really ambitious.  So back in March, we signed up for the race.

The Sprint Triathlon involves a 250 yard swim, 9 mile hill bike, and a 2-mile run.  I did not know how to swim, repeat, I did not know how to swim in March.  Yes, Charlene hauled her tail down to the Downtown Y and took lessons.  I spent time learning to not fear the water… I learned to use the water to my advantage.  And after 6 lessons, I learned to enjoy the mindfulness and focus of swimming.  An accomplishment I am proud of.

Training changed my perspective on health and fitness.  The more goals I met, the more excited I was about breaking more goals.  The longer I ran, the more excited I was to run again the next day.  I lost 40 pounds in training for this!  Training taught me about commitment and goal setting.

The event took place last Sunday (Oct 9), and it was good.  Ace drove with bike stocked in the back of the swagger wagon.  At a crisp 6am, I entered into the Athlete’s Only Transition area.  Luckily, the day before, Carla had given me some great tips for setup and transition. Pool to Bike to Run, in order not to waste any precious time.  Lay out towel, stand on towel, dry feet, sit on bucket, put on pants, race belt, etc.  It is really hard to get clothes on when you’re dripping wet from the pool… 

Well, it worked.  Swim to Bike was effective.  Took about 4 minutes to get out of my swim stuff and into my bike gear, but I did it.  Got on that bike and pedaled like there was no tomorrow.  The hills were pretty awesome, not what I was looking forward too, but just really glad I made it over.

I love my friends.  Ace and others made some really awesome signs, that kept me going… or shall we say laughing.  Some Beyonce and MJ lyrics, cheers and chants, and being a friend of God!  So many great signs that were a surprise.

I’m very happy I signed up, happy I kept up with training, and even happier to have finished sans injury.  I had a goal time of 1h45m, CharChar finished in 1h21m.

Amey and I right after crossing the finish.
We did it.

Charlene Brown is a tri-athlete!

and we’re looking forward to signing up for the next race!
(half-marathon you said?  I think so).

Small Steps

Last week, as we made our way to visit Dean Blackburn and John gave me a tour of UNC’s campus.  UNC shares many of the same qualities of UVA, but the two are very different.

We trekked across UNC’s campus marveling at the beauty of the surrounding architecture. I’m grateful for the time Dean Blackburn took to speak with me on ways to engage students around issues of diversity and reconciliation on the college campus.  He was encouraging and gave me a list of names to contact during my time on campus.

During this discussion, we talked a bit about some of my experiences in leading and facilitating discussions around reconciliation and diversity.  As we connected the dots and brainstormed, Dean thought of the perfect space to make this happen– at a retreat gathering of student leaders called Carolina United.  “When is it?” I asked.  He glanced at his calendar and said, “Next Tuesday.”  I sat a little baffled and excited.  I’ve only been on campus 2 days, I’m not qualified to do something like that.  But, this is not an opportunity to pass up… opportunities like this usually don’t come knocking again when you’re more ready.

As we ended the meeting, I knew this was a great opportunity to meet students, share my thoughts about diversity and religious life, and make some contacts.

I prepared Sunday and Monday for the dialogue, nervous but excited.  I didn’t know what to expect or what the conversation would look like, but I was confident that this is the kind of thing I sit and dream about.

I arrived at the camp, about an hour away from Durham, and heard some of the students share their stories about segregation on campus before lunch.  During lunch, I sat with some students and chatted it up– until they realized I was the facilitator.  This brought a lot of questions and concerns about how discussions like this actually work out.  I knew their concern because I’ve sat through panels and discussions and wished that there was something more, richer, and deeper about it.

As we started our session on religious life, four students shared their faith stories.  I also had the opportunity to lead the panel discussion on faith and life.  Students from all walks of life and faith, different stories and different journeys, shared, and common with all of their stories was a spilling over of richness and grace.  Many of the students had never been part of a panel discussion or conversation on religion where people weren’t attacking each other.

We had a good time.  It was fun and thought-provoking.  And I’m grateful for the chance to do something like this.  I met some great students and was able to share contact info with many others.

This is the kind of stuff, in the moment, I feel like I was born to do… I feel like I’ve spent my time preparing for it.  As inadequate as I might feel, I know God meets us there in those spaces.

I’m excited to serve as the Campus Ministry Fellow with PCM this year– and experience that will be challenging but worthwhile.

2010 in Review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 8,000 times in 2010. That’s about 19 full 747s.

 

In 2010, there were 42 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 139 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 96mb. That’s about 3 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was July 3rd with 549 views. The most popular post that day was The Silence of Violence.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, loveisanorientation.com, twitter.com, tomioredein.wordpress.com, and yosteve.blogspot.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for ace of spades, spades, hope one way, charlene brown duke, and reconciling way.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

The Silence of Violence June 2010
9 comments

2

Breaking All The Rules: The Politics of Spades and Race July 2010
5 comments

3

Finding Mom: A Different Kind of Reconciliation July 2010
17 comments

4

Caring for the Poor – Transforming Relationship July 2010
5 comments

5

About June 2010

And Hope Does Not Disappoint

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  -Romans 5:5

I boarded my flight to Seattle, eyes red and weak from all the energy I exerted trying not to let the dam in my eyes break through the wall I had spent so many years building.  Every time, there was a leak, I worked very hard to patch it up quickly and maintain what I thought was a proportionate equilibrium.  But as I left CA, this dam was leaking and it was leaking fast.

When I left CA, I carried a small brown envelope with me.  This envelope contained 20-year-old pictures of my mom bubbling with excitement and joy over birthdays and baptisms.  I had never seen this face and I had never witnessed this joy.  Yet, at first glance, I carried it with me.  I didn’t need another look or have to flip through the album again- I know this face.

I held the envelope tightly- checking every 30 seconds to make sure it was still with me.  As I sat, I wept.  I cannot recall a time when I cried this hard.  I’m talking about tears coming down my cheeks, gasping for air, snot-running-down-your-nose-and-you-don’t-have-a-tissue kind of crying.

Seated on my flight from AZ to Seattle, the lady who sat next to me took quick glances at me.  I saw her, because I was trying all that I could to not cause her concern or worry- but I did.

Half way through the flight, she looked me in the eyes, reached out her hand to touch mine, and said, “hun, I don’t know what’s wrong, but everything will be alright.”  Little did she know, she had caused another part of my wall to fall.

When the walls of the dam fell, I found that there was a whole side of a beautiful garden that was yet to be watered, be tilled, and bathed in the sun.  She let me cry, she let me mourn, and be.  But she also reminded me to be confident in Hope that afternoon by assuring me that things were going to be just fine.

I admit, I still cry (when I go to get my allergy shots, accidentally stub my toes, and yes, when I remember tough memories), but I’m reminded that Hope is not dead, Hope lives and does not disappoint!